Miami, Hire Me: Will Work for Food!

I returned to Nashville last week after living the good life in Miami. I have been several times to this amazing, culturally-diverse city and it just gets better. My sister Janet and one of my best buds of 14 years, Chris, made this trip with me. I am glad my little sis came, as this was her last weekend as a "single girl" (*she got engaged on May 21!*)

Things started out on shaky ground as trips with me sometimes do. Moments after picking up the rental, our SUV was almost brushed by a Miata as we pulled out of the airport and minutes later we were pulled over by a cop, as Chris was going 85 in a 55! Somehow we were let go, after pointing out we just picked up our rental, saw no speed signs & were naive Southerners. We made it in one piece to the Crescent, right on Ocean Drive. I was EXCITED about the spa bathroom we were going to have, only to discover that ours resembled a padded cell: with cushiony, cubed shower seats, hand-railings & a hand-held shower nozzle. They placed us in the only challenged-person's suite they had (no wisecracks).

The next days were awesome, hanging out at the beaches (visit Nikki Beach if you go) amidst an Aqua Girl convention. We spent some evenings on Lincoln Rd., visiting blocks of outdoor shops / restaurants / clubs. We opted for Cafeteria the first night, awesome food with a cool after-hours club. I can't even describe all the amazing cuisine: authentic Cuban a couple of nights, most impressively Puerto Sagua (I think my colon is still reeling from this), great seafood & the best breakfasts right next door to our hotel at the Front Porch. If you can't stop eating in Miami like we couldn't, this is for you.

Friday I was out of commission after waking up with a freakish, swollen-shut eye. I spent that day looking like a cross between the elephant man and Popeye and received a late-night, unsympathetic text from Jill telling me to eat my spinach (yuk yuk yuk). After eight benadryl and no lid-reduction in sight, I conceded.

Proud of my pupil's emergence by Saturday night, we made up for lost time and headed to Crobar where Chris and I danced our feet to near-bloody pulps until 5 a.m. He kept disappearing, but I would spot him atop the various podiums dancing with shirt and a bevy of girls in tow. While the three of us were walking down Washington Ave. Sunday night, a stretch Hummer full of girls pulled over and offered to deliver us in style to the place to be that night, Opium Garden. Ironically, we had received free passes to Opium's "Prive Club" while on the beach a few days earlier, just as we had for Crobar. Club promoters hand out free passes to their clubs (which typically run $25-$30) during the day to those soaking up rays on South Beach. We spent a grand total of $0 club-hopping during our stay, but just a little more than that on alcoholic beverages ;)

Oh, I can't believe I forgot to mention Miami's duck tour! HAHAHA

Now if I can just get those Ricky Martin songs out of my head!