I Love Your Belt Buckle
When a guy tells a girl he likes her pants, we all know what they're really saying. I think you're hot. Nice a$$. I want to sleep with you. ...all just a few examples. I find it hard to believe that it's just that they really do like the pants, because all of my pants aren't that cool. And usually, within minutes after the compliment, they ask for the phone number. Subliminal or not, it's like clockwork.
On the contrary, I ran into one of the many artists that I've been working with all week and happened to notice his killer belt buckle. So without thinking, I blurted out, I love your belt buckle! Just as the words slipped out of my mouth, the hot, married (shit), band guy looked up in surprise, then flattery. It was his baffled look that made me realize what I said and the more I tried to explain that I really did think it was cool, the deeper hole I dug. But seriously, how can one not notice a honkin' silver cassette tape strapped around someone's waist?
PS - Saw Stephen Baldwin today. Apparently he's breaking into the music biz.
On the contrary, I ran into one of the many artists that I've been working with all week and happened to notice his killer belt buckle. So without thinking, I blurted out, I love your belt buckle! Just as the words slipped out of my mouth, the hot, married (shit), band guy looked up in surprise, then flattery. It was his baffled look that made me realize what I said and the more I tried to explain that I really did think it was cool, the deeper hole I dug. But seriously, how can one not notice a honkin' silver cassette tape strapped around someone's waist?
My point is, when I say I like the belt buckle, I mean I like the belt buckle and I wasn't necessarily staring at...well, you know...their cock. When guys say they like our pants, we can safely assume the alternative. Ahhh, such different breeds we are. And I absolutely love it.
PS - Saw Stephen Baldwin today. Apparently he's breaking into the music biz.
Posted by Stella @ 9:39 PM
24 Comments:
At July 13, 2005 6:40 AM,
Jamie said…
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Never say that word again!!! It's just so.....WRONG!!!
At July 13, 2005 7:06 AM,
Anonymous said…
Ditto. Maybe in private, in a breathy voice, it's ok.
At July 13, 2005 8:08 AM,
newton dominey said…
jag, what the heck are you talking about? it's a good word. like in magnolia...
respect the cock.
tom cruise may be a babbling scientoligist idiot, but THAT my friends should be in the top 100 movie lines list.
on to your point, jill. i know i'm the odd man out when it comes to thinking and women and all, but i have no problem telling some chick (there's definitely a poultry theme here) that she's got some sweet pants and that they look great on her without me thinking that i want to get inside them (her or the pants). maybe it's just me. then again, i don't say things like that to girls i don't know who are standing at a bar by themselves. maybe that's the difference.
either way, cassette belt buckle or not, you were TOTALLY looking.
At July 13, 2005 8:58 AM,
Anonymous said…
I know that I can safely say that I've never told anyone I like their belt buckle (why does it make me think of Jeff Foxworthy?). However, I do believe it could be comparable to some of these male pick up lines:
1) That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.
2) I've been undressing you with my eyes all night long and think it's time to see if I'm right.
3) Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.
4) Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I'd love to tap that ass.
And finally, a classic.....
5) Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?
(Now readers, don't get your panties in a wad because of the F bomb)
At July 13, 2005 10:36 AM,
newton dominey said…
wow, if i'd had lines like that pre-wife, i'd probably have been a much busier boy!
the pick up line i used on her was the all-time best ever. it goes something like this:
me: where are you from?
her: arkansas.
me: i FUCKING hate arkansas! so, what are you doing tonite? wanna come over?
At July 13, 2005 10:55 AM,
Jamie said…
Newton, I am not saying that there is anything wrong with the word cock. It is just one of the things that Jill is not allowed to say. Her saying words like aforementioned 'cock' is comparable to me wearing a skirt. These things should never happen, because they will interrupt the time and space continuum, the streams will cross, and could cause the end of the world as we know it.
At July 13, 2005 11:52 AM,
Stella said…
I love getting you guys stirred up. You're just so fuckng funny about it.
And it was the rockstar cool belt buckle style, not the George Strait cowboy style.
At July 13, 2005 12:06 PM,
Stella said…
And I never get to say that word. So I decided I'm allowed to be crass, if only once in a while. Or maybe it was the Stella.
At July 13, 2005 12:34 PM,
Jamie said…
You are not crass, so it is imperative that we be crass for you. No more cock!
At July 13, 2005 1:07 PM,
Anonymous said…
Don't hesitate before saying cock, simply let it roll right off your tongue. I think it has a better sound than Dick anyway. I am gonna go out on a limb here...Jill if he was wearing a "rocker" style belt buckle then he must have had the rocker look. And if that is the case then well we all know that you were not just admiring the belt buckle. You may have had thoughts of "how do i get that thing undone", or "I wonder if he leaves my hotel room without it, does that mean I get to keep it?" I find it funny how you noticed the belt buckle first and the wedding ring second. By the way I have a gold 8-track belt buckle you can look at. Maybe I should try a new pick up line..."hey do you want to come stare at my ceiling for 15-20 minutes?"
At July 13, 2005 2:50 PM,
Anonymous said…
Hey Jag, if you wore a skirt would it be a human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria?
At July 13, 2005 3:18 PM,
Anonymous said…
My bad, it's me above. Must have forgotten to put my name in....I'd NEVER want to be anonymous :o)
At July 13, 2005 7:30 PM,
Stella said…
Newton, we need more guys like you. Do you have any twins? However, it wasn't at a bar (this time) that the pants thing happened. It was from a business contact (hottie!) on a convention floor, business hours. I guess the belt buckle thing happened there, too.
Jag, I think the only time you wore a skirt was when you borrowed mine for...Joe COCKer, was it?
At July 13, 2005 8:20 PM,
Anonymous said…
I like the belt buckle--very cool and knowing myself the way I do, I can honestly say I'd probably tell a guy that I liked it, too. LOL!
At July 13, 2005 8:22 PM,
Anonymous said…
I think it is hilarious that all of you can post comments on a blog while you are at work. Get real jobs!!!!! Just jealous b/c I'm buried all day long.
Anyway now that it is late at night I can tell you all that I witnessed another Jill belt buckle sighting. Remember, Hank Williams? Not on him, he's dead. She was lookin' Hee hee
By the way Jag, that's the pic I took of you on your comments! Yay! Also, I have some pics for you I'll mail them I never leave my house.
At July 13, 2005 8:25 PM,
Anonymous said…
By the way, Stephen Baldwin....wow. (note the lack of enthusiasm...that's from Mr. Elvisgirl)
At July 14, 2005 6:27 AM,
Jamie said…
Yes, I wore a skirt to Joe Cocker. And yes, Ciaobella, it would be mass hysteria. Like wrath of God type stuff.
At July 14, 2005 12:29 PM,
Anonymous said…
JOE COCKER! JOE COCKER! That is like going to a Beach Boys concert. Why would you wear a skirt to that suave event anyway? I guess you were not rolling down the grassy knolls. Is Concrete Blonde on tour this year? I might have time to go to that show since there is only one song that is worth listening to. Ohh Ohh gotta go now, Ugly Kid Joe just came on the radio!!!!
At July 14, 2005 1:08 PM,
Anonymous said…
I don't know about the rest of you, but I sure could use some Billy Ray Cyrus!
At July 14, 2005 3:05 PM,
newton dominey said…
that's really sweet (and terribly flattering). i don't have any twins, but i've got some friends who i think are stand up guys. they don't have sweet belt buckles, but they know how to tie a full windsor and half windsor knot. that's cooler than a belt buckle ANY DAY.
i HAVE thought about cloning myself, ala multiplicity (michael keaton's 2nd greatest movie next to beetlejuice).
what'd i do to get such a nice compliment? it's not my language or my ability to insult future spouse is it?
we're going to pet the dolphin, mr. wizard...
At July 14, 2005 3:28 PM,
newton dominey said…
by the way, my friend neilson hubbard's new record is called i love your muscles. this post makes me think of it. everyone should go buy that record RIGHT NOW. it's awesome.
At July 15, 2005 11:51 AM,
Stella said…
Sometimes googling your own name can bring you nice things.
So...any of these windsor boys live out West? Or wanna go?
At July 15, 2005 12:43 PM,
newton dominey said…
it's possiblistic.
At July 24, 2005 10:53 PM,
chez bez said…
A cassette tape belt buckle? If I was wearing that and you complimented it, I wouldn't doubt your sincerity for a second. But then, I think that a cassette tape belt buckle would be worth complimenting and I am a bit naive, too.
And speaking of "cock", if Mick Jagger can say it on the radio, then you can too.
Rough Justice:
"One time you were my baby chicken
Now you’ve grown into a fox
Once upon a time I was you’re little rooster
Now I’m just one of your cocks."
Post a Comment
<< Home