Reflections: The Year In Review

And so another year has come and gone. A year of crazy road trips, great music, self-improvement, and harassing Mr. Roboto...not to mention blogging. A year of too many tears and goodbyes, of following my heart and making my dreams come true. It seems like just last week that Julie and I threw our bags together on New Years Eve and headed to Tunica for some down home madness. Then again, those days seem so far away that I cling to the memories harder than ever.

Sometimes I wonder what the hell I have done. It's not easy picking up your entire life of twenty-seven years and hauling your a$$ across the country. Two thousand miles is a long way, you know. Especially when 98% of the people you know and love live back where you started from. It's not easy living in a city that is known for eating people alive. Knowing that you can only surround yourself with good people. Finding a job in a business that everyone else wants to work in, too. Being more or less alone most of the time. And by alone I don't mean physically, but emotionally. At least for now.

I miss the trips to Memphis with my bud. I miss the cash flow from the job I hated. I miss seeing my family whenever I wanted. I miss watching The Dempseys and their wild antics on stage. I miss being within driving distance to Michigan to see the rest of the clan. I miss parking lots. I miss the Natchez Trace. I miss comfort levels.

But you know what? I've never been prouder of myself than I am now. Because I will never have the regret of not following my heart. I would have never met the amazing people that I have met thus far. I would have never known what it was like to take family for granted. I would have never felt so much myself as I do now in the town that I live in. I would have never been as humbled, which was so much needed. I would have never experienced the amazing adventure of traveling across this beautiful country that God gave us. And I would never have had the chance to inspire others to follow their dreams.

Overall, 2005 has been a year of challenge. It's the first year in a few that I felt like I've actually made necessary changes in my life, rather than remaining in the stagnant place I had been in before. It was not an easy year, but despite the hard times, I can say that I lived every moment to the fullest. And to me, that is the essence of life. Because if you have not lived every moment, you have not lived.