Rita Ain't So Lovely Anymore
One of my least favorite things to do every year is go to the DMV. This year, I dreaded it even more, seeing as I had to deal with a title transfer, out of state plates, and vehicle registration in a new state...all with an out of state driver's license.
So as planned, I dragged myself out of bed earlier than ever yesterday morning so that I could deal with the situation, as my plates are now three months expired.
Better late than never.
I get there and realize that they don't have a parking lot (surprise!), so I roll up to the nearest meter and unload all my quarters for an hour's worth of time. After standing in line for a few minutes, the guy gives me a form, tells me to take my car behind the building so they can inspect it (separate from emissions), and then come back. There goes my hour. Along with my last quarters.
The inspection lasted about two minutes and took place in an empty parking lot. Cool. I could just park there. Or not. I tell them I used all my quarters and that someone else is now getting a free hour's worth of parking. I tell them I have no more cash. I tell them I really have to go get this taken care of. They just stared at me and shrugged.
A-holes.
I used my last dime to get a meter up to 25 minutes. Since when has it taken 25 minutes at the freakin' DMV? Yeah...that's what I thought.
Long story short, 32 minutes later, I get back to my car to find a nice, little white envelope under my windshield wiper. SEVEN minutes! SEVEN FREAKIN' MINUTES and the freakin' meter maid had already gotten me with a freakin' parking ticket on an expired meter! And I still didn't have my damn plates because they wouldn't take a freakin' faxed copy of the FREAKIN' gift form!!!
Freakin' sharks with freakin' laser beams on their heads!!!!!
Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!
So as planned, I dragged myself out of bed earlier than ever yesterday morning so that I could deal with the situation, as my plates are now three months expired.
Better late than never.
I get there and realize that they don't have a parking lot (surprise!), so I roll up to the nearest meter and unload all my quarters for an hour's worth of time. After standing in line for a few minutes, the guy gives me a form, tells me to take my car behind the building so they can inspect it (separate from emissions), and then come back. There goes my hour. Along with my last quarters.
The inspection lasted about two minutes and took place in an empty parking lot. Cool. I could just park there. Or not. I tell them I used all my quarters and that someone else is now getting a free hour's worth of parking. I tell them I have no more cash. I tell them I really have to go get this taken care of. They just stared at me and shrugged.
A-holes.
I used my last dime to get a meter up to 25 minutes. Since when has it taken 25 minutes at the freakin' DMV? Yeah...that's what I thought.
Long story short, 32 minutes later, I get back to my car to find a nice, little white envelope under my windshield wiper. SEVEN minutes! SEVEN FREAKIN' MINUTES and the freakin' meter maid had already gotten me with a freakin' parking ticket on an expired meter! And I still didn't have my damn plates because they wouldn't take a freakin' faxed copy of the FREAKIN' gift form!!!
Freakin' sharks with freakin' laser beams on their heads!!!!!
Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!
Posted by Stella @ 11:21 AM
8 Comments:
At March 31, 2006 11:49 AM,
newton dominey said…
at some point in the story, i would've transitioned from the junior version of the f word to the grown up version...
that sucks. the dmv and most (surely not all!) of their employees are without soul, like kenny loggins.
At March 31, 2006 12:29 PM,
Stella said…
Yeah, but then I wouldn't have been able to go straight into the Austin Powers clip. And that was the most important part. Heh.
At April 01, 2006 7:14 AM,
Anonymous said…
All I have to say is welcome to California!!
At April 01, 2006 7:48 AM,
Anonymous said…
Did I just witness a Kenny Loggins drop! That is outstanding Newt!
Now I feel like I am on the highway to the danger zone.
Jilly, you should be used to these things happening like this. Since when has a simple thing like getting new plates actually worked out for you? I know it is not as easy as dumping an old couch behind a quick lube place but sometimes you just have to say fuck it and roll with the punches.
If you actually had frikking sharks with frikking laser beams, who would clean the tank?
At April 03, 2006 2:00 PM,
newton dominey said…
thanks, coug.
like van halen said, "you got to roll with the punches to get to what's ree-uhl."
At April 03, 2006 4:16 PM,
Anonymous said…
Let me remind you of our little street sweeper incident in Recita. Even when you PAY a parking ticket in California, they like to pretend you don't and put a warrant out for you and make you deal with the situation for years to come when finally they send you an apology letter realizing it was their error.
At April 03, 2006 5:05 PM,
Stella said…
I'm glad the warrant was in your name or they probably would have impounded my car.
At April 04, 2006 9:23 AM,
Anonymous said…
I mean really, what kind of place issues tickets because of street sweepers??? It was the White Russian grocery store parking lot street sweeper’s revenge!!! It made me wanna whip a DQ Blizzard at it.
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